I have a friend who has been in and out of a romantic relationship with the same guy for well over three years now. Last week, she invited me to lunch and a chat. During lunch, she seemed overexcited as she explained the reason for our meeting. “I finally managed to get over Chris. I now know that it’s finally over and am I glad!” she said ecstatically. She went on to explain that she had attended a seminar whose topic was how to get over someone.
The speaker had informed the attendants that why most people never get over someone even after separation is that they lack the motivation to move on. This way, they find themselves in and out of the same relationship without moving on. My friend had found the motivation to get over her controlling boyfriend and move on. But where can you get the motivation to get over someone?
You are the first source of motivation to get over someone. It takes a lot of strength to find motivation within yourself especially if you are in a romantic relationship that you want to get out of. In this case, you believe that your partner is the “one” and your destinies are linked. However, if you can be able to look at yourself as a unique individual with a unique destiny, it’s quite easy to motivate yourself to get over someone and move on.
You can start by thinking about what you want in life. What kind of relationship do you want and does your partner make such a relationship possible? When you start thinking about your goals, your focus will slowly drift from your broken relationship towards achieving what you desire.
Family and friends
Family and friends are a source of unconditional love. They are our emotional support system and will very likely want to motivate and help you out when you’re going through a breakup. If you need some motivation during some trying times, visit your family and spend some time with friends.
The key to finding motivation from your family and friends is avoiding discussions about your broken relationship. It will simply stress you out. Talk about positive stuff, remember the good old times, do stuff you did before but couldn’t find time to do because of your ended relationship.
Breakup might be the end of a relationship, but if you look at it positively, it’s actually the beginning for new experiences. You might have favored your previous relationship over new experiences and meeting new people. For example, you couldn’t find the time to go watch a movie because your boyfriend preferred you rent a movie and watch indoors. Now is your chance to go out and watch that movie.
If you’re fond of pets, you can get one. Unlike humans, pets are driven by pleasing their masters. They usually don’t want much in return expect some affection, grooming and feeding. Taking care of your pet and bonding will help you draw your focus away from someone you depended on to something that really depends on you.